I'm a weird kid. Really weird. Perhaps that's the most important reason why i didn't have any friends until i was 12.
You know, people almost always rely on the first impression - especially kids. When i first came in the first class, i was really shy. My parents wanted me to find a buddy - at least, someone to talk to in these five minutes of a school break. I also had problems with diction, i'd say - big problems. Everything i said was misunderstood by everyone, even mum. Well, it's not much better now, eight years later. But still better. Then i was all alone - ohhh, it was fuckin' boring, the dullest four years ever. And all i thought about was school. I learned, and learned and learned. I guess it all was done to smooth over tedium. Who says that school years are the brightest, huh?
Then the fifth grade started and the worst time began. I hope my children's school life will be easier. I was hated by everyone around. I went off into hysterics almost every day. Why are kids so cruel? They had everything they can have. I mean finances. Maybe they didn't get enough love or something and it made them monsters. I was going to commit suicide several times, but thankfully i was more clever than it. Everything ended up mum's coming to school and making a row with the ones who humbled me.
After that my life became way easier. I finally could move from one classroom to another almost without any peril of being mocked. If happened, i could always give a black eye to anyone. I'm strong, but i was always afraid of using it.
I was trying to make friends with our school elite. I didn't have any choice, but anyway i just can't imagine that i acted just like they did - wore the same clothes, watched tv shows they love, tried to behave similarly... The only value for 'em is money: cloth of famous brands, fashionable make-up (well at least they think it's fashionable and beautiful lol), hair of some weird color just like hay... Now i look at them and see - they're just fair-weather friends. Trite, but that's it. Today they call each other bffs and tomorrow they call each other whores. Can't i see all their 'love'? Can. And wanna puke when i do. I'll never become such a bitch.
Now... now i have got a lot of pals. It's great - we always walk together, laugh and so on. But there's one Best Friend Forever for me. Lisa. Lisa, thank you for you are always here for me. Always help me. But... this is friendship, and one shouldn't thank for it :) Now school years are really the brightest for me. I've prayed for it since childhood, am i finally awarded?
Yeah. Thank God.
